Sure, it's sad to see real people fake-die in movies and on TV, but there's something about cartoons biting the drawn dust that can get to the best of us. Here's 9 toons with deaths that hit us a little too hard. We've kept the names out of the entry titles, but we're not liable for any more secrets contained herein. SPOILERS!
9- The Simpsons.jpg)
Maude proved that she was one of God's true Christian soldiers, by tackling some of the most depraved trash that had ever been broadcast on that vile invention of Satan's known as television: the children's cartoon. If there is one item that can be blamed for the majority of crime in this great nation, it is that device known as the TV (or boob-tube, to the miscreants). Regardless of where you stand on Maude's courageous and moving work, we were all sad to see her get knocked out of the grandstand at the Springfield Speedway, where she then plummeted to her death, leaving the nicest family in Springfield, the Flanders, without their mother. The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways.
8- Fullmetal Alchemist.jpg)
Heroes are a bit stupid--they put themselves in harm's way most of the time, so why should we be surprised to see them kick the bucket? Hughes from Fullmetal Alchemist had a bit of a more low-risk role in the show, as a family man working in military intelligence. Whereas seeing a hero die is sad because of the sacrifice, when Hughes bit the big one, you knew it was affecting more than just the cause, as the wife and daughter he constantly praised would suddenly have their lives shattered.
7- Charlotte's Web.jpg)
Is there anything more revered and likable than an insect (yes Einstein, I know spiders aren't insects, and everyone is real impressed that you caught that) who lays massive traps to catch its prey and then sucks the life from its hapless victims, often while they are still alive? Not to that species of pig who is capable of speaking and understanding English (and we can thank Hollywood for making us repeatedly familiar with said genus of pig). Unfortunately, unlike Duncan McCloud, spiders are not immortal, so after preventing another delicious ham from going to the supermarket (and then subsequently to our stomachs, where pigs belong), many of these revered insects/arachnids head off to that big golden web in the sky. Regrettably, these adorable creatures are capable of making like 10 bazillion babies, meaning that if they all do their jobs as well as Charlotte did, it could be years before we taste any bacon again.
6- Cowboy Bebop.jpg)
It's a well-known fact that Cowboy Bebop's title is based on that warthog creature from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but what you probably didn't know is that the title was also inspired by an American occupation where men riding horses herded cows. Go ahead and impress your friends with that insightful trivia, but before you become regarded as the smartest member of your clique, you should know that all is not well on planet Bebop (or wherever this show takes place). No, at the end of the series' run, the main protagonist, Spike Spiegel, seemingly died from wounds he received in a duel with arch-enemy Vicious, causing many nerds to remove their extremely thick glasses and wipe their eyes with their Faye Valentine cosplay outfits.
5- Transformers.jpg)
As children, many of us didn't understand that our beloved Saturday morning cartoons were actually just half-hour long toy commercials, whose sole goal was to make us beg our parents to cough up 20 dollars for a hunk of plastic that would be broken in a week. One of the most popular of those hunks of plastic was Optimus Prime, the leader of the noble Autobots. However, those insidious fat-cats at the toy companies understood that in order to continuously rake in the dough they'd have to constantly create new toys that those 8-year-old toy addicts would crave like Amy Winehouse pines for crack. The toyline's feature film debut provided a perfect opportunity to shill new toys, but there just wasn't enough screentime to include the new guys with the veterans. So Hasbro did what any capitalist worth his salt/gold would do, and they killed off a number of the original robots in disguise, including one Mr. Prime. Shortly after that, Don McLean wrote the song American Pie, documenting the day the robots across the world cried out in pain.
4- Up.jpg)
Most Pixar movies (and heck, CGI films in general) deal with talking toys, cars, animals, or some combinations of the three. And while it's sad to see a robot run out of batteries or a toy thrown in the trash, it's tough to shed a tear about something that's made out of plastic or circuits. Though some people were torn up when Michael Jackson died so what do I know? Anyway, the cast of Up is primarily human, and in particular, the protagonist is a sad old man who wants to fulfill a promise to his late wife. We only get a few minutes to observe Ellie's life, but her death and how it depresses, inspires, and changes her husband is at the very heart of this movie. Oh man, this writeup is depressing. Let's humor things up now. Fat dogs farting on clowns.
3- Lion King .jpg)
I don't quite know why this entry is considered sad, because according to Mufasa every time an animal dies he's simply becoming a part of the wonderful circle of life, or does that just count for the animals that you eat the shit out of, you stinking lion-hypocrite. Mufasa, the king of the animals, met an untimely end at the paws of his evil brother Scar (who really had no choice with a name like that). However, this revered lion-dad couldn't have been prouder about how his son Simba handled the new responsibility of being king of the jungle, and that's by literally turning up his tail and running far, far, away. Eventually, he returns to his homeland to kill his uncle and take control of the crown. Because if there's anything that Disney movies have to teach us, it's that two wrongs always make a right.
2-Grave of the Fireflies
Most anime movies deal with supernatural things like robots, magic creatures, and sexually confused octopuses, but are still surprisingly capable of culling tears from its audience--see some of our previous entries for proof. Isao Takahata told a very realistic story of two children affected by war in Grave of the Fireflies, and in turn, created one of the saddest film deaths of all time. We won't go into any detail, but the tragic end of one of the characters in this movie and the circumstances surrounding it will test even the most stoic of moviegoers.
1-Bambi.jpg)
In the history of mankind, never has there been one single event that has even come close to being as sad as when Bambi's mother got blown away in that field. OK, maybe that's hyperbole, but it does stand up there with the saddest fictional deaths. Having a mother taken away from you at a young age is pretty tragic, (unless it's court-ordered and your mother is Britney Spears) so the shocking shooting of Bambi's mother cut most watchers pretty hard. For a film centered at kids, seeing a cute character's mother bite the dust is surprisingly harsh.
Death can be hilarious. These lists are proof!
8 Famous Film Villains who Died by Melting
The 8 Most Memorable Comic Book Deaths
Fictional Characters Who Died Too Early
The 009 Nastiest Bond Villian Deaths
Aaron Koehn has contributed to GamePro Magazine, Gamepro.com, Electronic Gaming Monthly, OMGlists.com, Slobsofgaming.com, Games.net, and Gamerhelp.com. You can find his Tweets at: http://twitter.com/Aaron_Koehn, and you can find his dignity back in 1988 right next to his staunch ambition.
