With so many comic books getting movie adaptations, one common thread has been present in nearly every successful blockbuster--the badass vehicular superhero transporter. Here are the 8 comic book vehicles we'd like to take the wheel of.
8-Nite Owl's Owl Ship
While this flying, owl-shaped, blimp-rocket thing might look like a pushover--with its giant, adorable eye windows and charming, bulbous body--one would be stupid to stand in front of its flame-spewing beak during a battle. However, if you can get past its innumerable defenses and penetrate its interior, you'll find a pudgy, over-the-hill superhero, who's less likely to put up a formidable opposition. After beating that husky hero into submission, be sure to commandeer his state-of-the-art, hovering owl-mobile, because that owl-power is capable of conquering entire neighborhoods, at the most. Fortunately, during the 80s the owl was the most terrifying animal imaginable, allowing that portly hero and his airship to avoid infiltration by striking fear in enemies' hearts. Plump heroes: 1; bad guys: 0.
7-The Avenger's Quinjet
When transporting a team that consists of such weighty members as The Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Hercules, and She-Hulk, you're going to need a vehicle that can handle considerable weight. And even though the Quinjet possesses the ostentatious abilities to travel through space and go back in time (yawn), its truly remarkable capacity is being able to fly when it's loaded up with several tons of muscle-bound superheroes. If I was Captain America and I was soaring through space at Mach 2, I would want the piece of mind that comes with knowing that this flying-bus can handle my team's considerable girth. Especially when Thor and The Hulk break into that lighthearted wrestling match in back during your mission to save the world.
6-The S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier
When you've got an unlimited amount of funds and resources the sky's the limit -- literally, in the case of the Helicarrier. Not being content to park their planes on an antiquated carrier that sits in the sea, the extra-governmental organization known as S.H.I.E.L.D. decided to move their carriers to a place where planes are at their most comfortable: the sky. Here they can enjoy breathtaking views, all while completely blocking the sun from towns and cities below. Some super villains might become discouraged when gauging their chances against such a colossal behemoth. However, if they just remember Luke Skywalker's words when doubters proclaimed it impossible to shoot down that massive floating base--"I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. They're not much bigger than two meters."--then I think they'll be just fine.
5-Fantastic 4's Fantasti-car
The biggest difficulty when managing a superhero team is coordinating the group's transportation when traveling to and from harrowing adventures. So if your team is lucky enough to have a brilliant genius on board, you should make sure that brain constructs some sort of futuristic transport, or at least buys a team van or something. Fortunately, the Fantastic 4 have such a brain in their leader, Mr. Fantastic, whose intelligence is easily discerned due to those gray patches of hair, which emphasize his well-developed and advanced acumen. With the construction of the Fantasti-car, this foursome can now travel in luxury and style. And Mr. Fantastic can rest easy knowing that his team will always arrive to pummel criminals and villains at the same time. Thanks Fantasti-car!
4-Ghost Rider's Hell-cycle
Most people would be upset when their motorcycle's front tire bursts into flames, but when your head turns into a skull and then subsequently bursts into flames as well, a hot tire becomes the least of your concerns. Coined by combining both the name of Satan's residence and the root of motorcycle (you can thank me later for that explanation), the cleverly termed Hell-cycle is the epitome of imposing transportation. And the fact that its flame tires can drive on surfaces that normally wouldn't be conducive to fire (i.e. water), while also being able to defy gravity, means that waterfalls better look out when said cycle approaches. Note to fire-prone southern California: Do not let Ghost Rider anywhere near your state.
3-X-men's Blackbird
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Being a mutant is kind of like being that stud in high school (take it from me) who all the non-studs hate. That's why when you're an envied, yet loathed, mutant, concealed travel is of the utmost importance. So what better way to go from devastating-fight-with-a-magnet-esque-villain to destructive-battle-with-a-giant-robot, than in a stealth jet? Unfortunately, when you run a non-profit school for society's outcasts, obtaining funds to fuel such a clandestine airliner can be tough. That's why it's imperative that after you take down that destructive robot, you gather all that scrap metal and recycle it. If you can get 5 cents per can in some states, imagine how much scratch you'll bring in with a 20-ton futuristic android. I see blinged-out claws in Wolverine's future.
2-Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet
It's easy to see the advantages of an invisible jet, but it can be even easier to see the disadvantages of that variety of aircraft. Notably, if any cargo is placed on the plane--like a pilot, for example--the perfect camouflage is lost. That's due to the cargo's, or in our case, pilot's, lack of invisibility. So while enemies will be unable to see Wonder Woman's approaching plane, they will be able to see Wonder Woman approaching in a plane. That being said it's only a matter of time before the Amazons invent and outfit Wonder Woman in an invisible leotard. Unfortunately, since her leotard is so skimpy, 75% of her will remain visible. And I'd like to see Wonder Woman sell a comic if those same Amazons try outfitting her with some sort of full-bodied concealing cloak, because Wonder Woman's best assets are hardly those silver bracelets.
1-Batman's Batmobile
When you're a superhero without any super powers, you might develop an inferiority complex. And to compensate for your shortcomings, maybe you start driving a big, flashy car, and frequently speed in public so that everyone can see how fast you can drive. But when you're fighting a short, portly man with umbrellas, a midget who dresses up like a character from a child's nursery rhyme, and a crazy clown who is just as superpower-less as you, you'll need all the devastating firepower you can get. However, you can't fault the Caped Crusader for driving this impressive automobile, and I'd imagine that even the most superpowered of heroes would still be eager to take a spin in the bat-car. That's because the Batmobile, like my 1997 Buick Park Avenue, is the absolute embodiment of cool.
