Even though so many occupation-based reality television programs have already found incredible talent (e.g. The Contender, American Idol), it still feels like the surface has really just been scratched as far as job-related shows go. And since every time we turn on the television something completely valueless and inane comes on, now is the perfect time for OMGLists to unveil six potential television programs that could revolutionize life as we know it.
6-America's Next Top Film or Television Extra
What could be more entertaining than gathering up a group of potential movie extras and watching them as they do what they do best: nothing. This contest pits human background props against one another, with an audience then choosing which extra is better able to stand behind the principle action of a film and not say a word. If at any time the viewers become aware of what an extra is doing in the background, that living prop will be reprimanded by the extra "experts", and ultimately voted off. During special theme weeks, the extras will be placed into different TV and film genres and asked to respond as typically as possible to particular situations. For example, during"Teen Drama Week," the extra will be asked to walk down a school hallway, while holding books. During "Detective Mystery Week," the extra will have to sit in a chair at a police station and look interested as a Sergeant asks a hot-headed younger cop to turn in his badge. Ultimately, the extra who displays the best ability to not draw any attention to him or herself wins a 30-second spot on The George Lopez Show.
5-The Surreal Surgeon
So you claim to be a fan of E.R. and Grey's Anatomy? Then boy will you like this program, where real patients and real people who would like to be doctors take part in real surgery. The premise of the show is very simple. People who are in need of immediate medical care, but can't afford to get through the busted healthcare system's redtape, are brought onto a Hollywood stage that resembles an authentic emergency room. Then, 24 "average joes," who think they are capable of doing what medically-trained surgeons have spent years preparing for, all take turns operating on these opportune patients. You'll laugh as our new surgeons remove the wrong lung, and you'll cry as these amateur practitioners get voted off, but more importantly your whole family will learn the importance of letting go.
4-American Grade School Janitor
How many times has your young child soiled him or herself, leaving you wishing a complete stranger was there to clean up the mess? Well, if you're like me, the number system doesn't count that high. So with that in mind, we've created American Grade School Janitor, a show where 15 prospective custodians all fight for the opportunity to pour kitty litter on that pile of regurgitated Salisbury steak. The show stipulates that all potential janitor contestants must have either one or all of the following traits: a lazy eye, a bald head with massive sideburns, a uniform that is unwashed and doesn't fit, a key ring capable of holding up to two thousand keys, an unusual limp, a hatred for all children, and a spotty criminal record. So if you like watching other people so down on their luck that on a daily basis they have to clean up human waste, you'll love American Grade School Janitor.
3-Making the Exterminator
There are several jobs out there that everyone would love to get their hands on, and I know I don't speak for myself when I say that being an exterminator is one of them. That's why we've created the game show, Making the Exterminator. What Making the Exterminator will do is reach into a pool of a thousand or so hopeful exterminators and have them kill as many pests as possible, using whatever means they deem necessary. If that means placing poison pellets into a family's box of Rice Krispies, after the family informs him that they have a lice problem, then we say, "You go, Exterminator." Or if an exterminator chooses to arm himself with a shotgun to eradicate a cockroach infestation, we'll say, "More power to ya, you killing machine." Regardless of their ability, we all know the world could use more heroes and this show intends to create some.
2-Last Medicine Tester Standing
Medicine testing can have a few drawbacks (loose stools and death, to name a couple), but even so, it is one of the most highly sought after positions in the collegiate arena. So we thought we'd aide society by creating a television program that weeded out the weak medical testers, while at the same time promoting upcoming lucrative pharmaceuticals. And we call this genius program Last Medicine Tester Standing, where for a few bucks, college students will take continually higher doses of experimental medicine in an attempt to more quickly determine which medicines work and which make you try to eat your own hand.
1-So You Think You Can Be a U.N. Ambassador?
The world of today is a horrifying place filled with much turmoil and unrest. Still, many people look to our proud country to set things straight and provide hope, making the position of America's U.N. Ambassador an important one. With that in mind, we've built a show predicated on the concept that the only way to find the best Ambassadors is to hold a game show-like contest where indifferent viewers select their favorite contestant. Whether contestants make it to the next round depends on how beneficial their actions are to the U.S. during very important and very real diplomatic summits. Such real diplomatic situations include: Convincing Iran's President Ahmadinejad that homosexuals do in fact live in his country, without angering him to the point of nuclear war; utilizing science to prove to North Korea's Kim Jong Il that he is in fact a legal midget, and that makes him even more adorable; and persuading the world that attacking Iraq was a shrewd and necessary move. If the contestants fail at these tasks, it ultimately doesn't matter, because who cares what other countries think of us, right?
