Is there any aspect of gaming more trite and boring than the save point? Besides all of Madden NFL Football? It's gotten to the point where if man encountered a floating glowing object in the middle of the street, his first instinct would be to save his progress, then OD on horse tranquilizers in the hope that he'd return to that spot (or maybe that's just us). You've got to hand it to the select developers that took an hour to think up something to save data besides a cheery innkeeper. And hand it to them, we shall. We're listing the 6 Sweetest Save Points in Gaming, and in honor of them, we've inserted a save point at the end of this paragraph. Just put your finger on the upcoming asterisk, and your progress will be saved, dear reader! **
6- Typewriter, Resident Evil series
Using a typewriter makes sense in Resident Evil's land of demon dogs and mutant zombies. Type in your current status, how many gems you've put in the lion statue in the police station lobby, and how many acid rounds are in the grenade launcher you've found in the pantry, indent, double space, and voila! You're assured of respawn when the giant snake bites your head off.
Delve deeper, however, and you'll find it's just as bizarre as that room with the paintings where the crows attack if you order them incorrectly (how the fuck do they know whether you got it wrong?!). Back in the 90's we could accept the fact that we had to sacrifice an item slot to hold onto surplus ink ribbons, instead of, you know, leaving the fucking thing by the typewriter. By the time Resident Evil 4 rolled around, with every third abandoned shack having a fully functioning Brother Word Processor, we realized that the Umbrella corporation just enjoys putting weird shit in crazy places.
5- Column of Light, Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
You remember the first time you played Super Mario Bros, and your asshole older brother Sean said you'd get a free life if you jumped in the last pit on level 8-4? No? Well, if he had, you'd probably experience that same hesitancy the first time you encountered the Prince of Persia's gigantic beam of light. Yes, you're supposed go into the light, little Carol. Like in Poltergeist, you'll see some fucked-up stuff once you step into it. Namely, the rest of the stage you're playing. And unlike the time your asshole older brother Sean told you that Verbal Kint was Keyser S�ze, it's actually pretty cool to learn a few spoilers.
4- Mei Ling, Metal Gear Solid
When you're waging a one-man stealth war against a nuclear super-power, it's nice to know that there's a cute Asian girl just waiting to document all the details of your adventures. While most gamers hit Triangle to skip through Colonel Campbell's boring yammering about FOXHOUND, Grey Fox, FoxDie, and Fox News, each conversation with sweet, adorable Mei Ling was to be savored. The fact that she'd end each call with a pertinent proverb instead of nonsense about giant robots was icing on the cake.
3- Coffin, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Okay, we know we bagged on floating glowing save points but SotN took a unique perspective. Instead of just floating and glowing like a nuclear sack of crap, when SotN's vampire protagonist encountered a save point, the gigantic ball of weird EXPLODED and turned into a huge coffin. So it was just like a Megadeth show in the 80's, basically.
2- Bathroom, Dead Rising
Don't confuse our praise of the Dead Rising's save point with acclaim for the game's super-broken save system that only allowed you to have one save at a few scarcely dispersed points. The good part? Besides the save point in the safe area, intrepid photojournalist Frank West had to saddle up to a urinal to save his progress. Now, if it were up to us, we'd have made anything capable of holding urine a save point. Toilets, coffee cans, Paris Hilton's face. All are readily available in any Colorado-area shopping mall.
1- Calling Your Deadbeat Dad, Earthbound
One of the best--and most bizarre-- RPGs to ever grace a videogame console, Earthbound's methodology of saving was charmingly unique. Once your protagonist found a telephone (found in places even more odd than Resident Evil's typewriters), he could call his father, who is never shown throughout the course of the game. Like most absent fathers, he tries to cover up his neglect with cold hard cash, depositing money into the player's bank account. This dad, however, went the extra mile by offering to save your character's progress. Whatever, we don't care. Mom's new boyfriend, Eric, has a motorcycle that he let me ride on.
*Note- The asterisk at the beginning of the story will not actually save your progress. Neither will the other two, which only exist to alert you to the presence of this note.
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